The Computer Newspaper

The Computer Newspaper is the Internet’s primary source of words written and arranged by members of Cook St. Productions. Due to a strict policy of neo-nepotism, our writing staff has unprecedented access to the thoughts and minds of Cook St., and are able to craft those thoughts into tangent-rich articles on whatever bothered us on Facebook that day.

Thoughts from the Alt-Left

During a petty and cantankerous press conference Tuesday, Donald Trump stood between two golden elevators and said a series of terrible things, excluding the following: “George Washington was a slave owner.  So was Thomas Jefferson. Where does it stop? Are we going to take down their statues, too?”

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Tell Someone Who Cares, Amy Adams

Every year there are a slew of acclaimed films released in theaters, generally near the holidays, that represent the “best” the medium has to offer. Sure, there are heaps of exceptions, in both directions, and loads of snarky qualifiers I could add – including, but not limited to, surrounding

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My Idols Hate Cell Phones

Last week, I saw an article about Paul Thomas Anderson re-collaborating with Daniel Day-Lewis for a film set to release in 2017. I clicked, because I was curious, because he’s our best living filmmaker. There were very few details about the plot (classic P.T.), other than ‘set in the 1950s fashion w

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How To Choose A President In Just 31 Days

*empties crate of clementines, places it on ground upside down* *deep breath* *gingerly stands on crate* Hey everybody? Everybody, can you look up here? I have something I want to say.   What if I told you I could get the American people a new chief executive in just 31 days? The campaign, the prima

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Star Wars, Harry Potter, and ’80s Babies

Just a few weeks ago, the big and powerful Disney Corporation released a new Star Wars, dropping the mic on all things pop culture. The fact that it’s (a) objectively a great movie, and (b) making heaps of cash, means we need to clarify what Star Wars is, and what it isn’t.  What it is:

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