The Computer Newspaper

The Computer Newspaper is the Internet’s primary source of words written and arranged by members of Cook St. Productions. Due to a strict policy of neo-nepotism, our writing staff has unprecedented access to the thoughts and minds of Cook St., and are able to craft those thoughts into tangent-rich articles on whatever bothered us on Facebook that day.

My Idols Hate Cell Phones

Last week, I saw an article about Paul Thomas Anderson re-collaborating with Daniel Day-Lewis for a film set to release in 2017. I clicked, because I was curious, because he’s our best living filmmaker. There were very few details about the plot (classic P.T.), other than ‘set in the 1950s fashion w

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How To Choose A President In Just 31 Days

*empties crate of clementines, places it on ground upside down* *deep breath* *gingerly stands on crate* Hey everybody? Everybody, can you look up here? I have something I want to say.   What if I told you I could get the American people a new chief executive in just 31 days? The campaign, the prima

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Star Wars, Harry Potter, and ’80s Babies

Just a few weeks ago, the big and powerful Disney Corporation released a new Star Wars, dropping the mic on all things pop culture. The fact that it’s (a) objectively a great movie, and (b) making heaps of cash, means we need to clarify what Star Wars is, and what it isn’t.  What it is:

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Dawn Draper: The Search For TV’s First Female Antihero

Who is your favorite Game of Thrones’ character? Actually, hold up, let me guess. I bet it’s Tyrion. Wait, no Arya? Actually, on second thought, it doesn’t matter ‘cause Screencrush did a complete ranking for you. Here’s your top five: Arya Stark Jaime Lannister Sandor “The Hound” Clegane Tyrion Lan

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Kanye West Should Kill Himself

I want to personally apologize for how callous the “Kanye West Should Kill Himself” headline reads. My editor talked me into it, and she signs my paychecks. [I don’t actually have an editor, but man is my imagination progressive. A girl editor!] The truth of the matter is that I lo

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